It seems almost comical to think now how far I’ve come in my writing and, yet, i seem to have barely moved at all, regressed even, to the point that my poetry, my once constant companion for so very long, now seems lost to me and when I write I am able to get my thoughts down on paper only through mere sentences, and even then only a very small fraction of my thoughts escape in their entirety onto paper. My thoughts have changed to the point that i find it hard to be sad, which is a result of both great fortune and great realizations, and yet in becoming a happier person my ability to give advice seems to have diminished as well and i find myself frustrated more and more with this lost of ability which, at times, brings with it a feeling of inadequacy at the thought that I’m not as much help to people as I once was.

It has been said that it is those that get what they truly want who are the most unfortunate of us all because, in time, we all grow tired of even the things we may have wanted all our live’s and, as a result, it is better to merely live without goals. However, a life without goals, indeed, is no life at all! It is goals which make life livable, interesting, everything that one may use to define living. Indeed, in maintained goals, it is inevitable that not every goal will be accomplished, yet it is this very struggle to gain something which makes everything worth it in the end even when our goal may not be met for there is sill solace to be found in not meeting one’s goal in knowing that, irregardless of how small, there was, and is, still a chance of obtaining it, yet the only true unbearable sadness is knowing there is no possibility at all that our goal may be met. To quote Soren Kierkegaard, “If life fails to bring a person what would make him happy, it is still a comfort that he could have received it. But the unfathomable sorrow which no time can disperse, no time can heal, is to know that it would be no use even if life were to do everything.”

And so, upon such reflections, we come to the realization that , being the ever transient beings that we are, in many senses, it is wholly impossibles to obtain merely one goal. For upon reaching one goal, we find ourselves contented only for a short period of time before, as is typical of our kind, we become bored, disgusted by the repetition and monotony of the very thing we once coveted so. As a result of this, we soon find ourselves searching for something new with which we can find pleasure; a new goal to strive for until the cycle begins once more. And so, success, in many ways, is determined by our willingness and ability to change, with regard to our goals for, without this change, boredom will quickly lay siege and destroy our happiness at having achieved a particular goal.

In realizing all of this, and seeing both sides of striving for and obtaining a goal, change becomes our constant companion through life in order to continuously find happiness; and yet, it is not only in obtaining one’s goal that happiness is to be found. Indeed, i. many ways, it is the opposite that is true for it is the struggle to gain one’s goal that makes life interesting and, more often than not, more interesting than the goal itself due to the boredom that quickly sets in upon finishing our journey. At once the truth of the saying, ” It’s not the destination but the journey that counts.” becomes infinitely apparent because it is the journey that is full of the twists and turns that make if interesting, whereas, the destination, the goal, quickly changes from entertaining and joyous to boring and disgusting.

Yet, this saying in itself is a contradiction, a paradox, in saying that the journey is more important than the destination because it is the one true requirement of a journey to have a destination. In being a journey from one place to the next, the next place must clearly be the destination, for without a destination there can be no journey. Therefore, the destination must clearly be more important than the journey for, while there can be a destination without a journey, there can be no journey without a destionation. however, it is the journey that contains the most entertainment and joy out of the two while, at the same time requiring a destination.

Upon such reflections, it becomes clear that it is indeed a necessity to maintain goals throughout life even if none are ever reached in order to allow for a journey to be made and thus for happiness to be found and maintained if such is to happen at all. In addition to keeping goals and journeys, however, it must be remembered, as well, to find happiness in the attempt and the fact that there was a chance instead of remaining placid and morose at not acheiving one’s goals or becoming bored of them once one’s goal was met. The bigged room of all is that for improvement and this must be remembered with regard to our goals as well: we must continuously renew and find now goals, improving our original goal and making new goals to strive towards and find happiness in.

My lessons in this case have come to me many times over. Whether it be in relations or now even in my writing my lack of change seems to have been the undoing factor. Even once the change in my writing has taken place I seem unable to write half as much due to the fact that I’ve written so much already that when I turn to my poetrty now each word I write seems to have already found its place before because even with a different style the meaning I now try to convey through poetry has already mistakenly been written. And yet, even this change has now come to bring me happiness in the changing of my style of writing and deeper meanings I have come to be able to convey with the words that flow so freely onto paper.

Written February 13, 2008